Noctuary

My "Writer's Book of Days" has arrived. I admit I'm a bit disappointed with the quality of the paper - I'm the sort of person to whom that sort of thing is important - but it was half price, and the content appears to be as good as I hoped it was. Or at least of the type I hoped it was. Time, of course, will tell.

I'm going to start, hopefully, writing a piece a day. Some of them might fill in the backstories of some of my novel characters. Some might be new short stories with new characters. Others might end up being incorporated into novels half-written. Others might wind up being journal entries. few will end up being posted here. If I don't like the prompt given in this book, I might take one from one of the communities I'm a member of, or from the book of prompts I have. Regardless, I hope doing this will help both with my writing practise and with fleshing out my novel characters.

There are other things to work on, too. I keep stalling on my way through "The Ode Less Travelled" and should get some proper poems written that aren't sonnets. And, of course, I'm working on finishing the novel properly. I have less than 20 pages left to edit now, which itself is scary. I don't enjoy editing but I also don't know if I'm ready to run out of what I've already written and come to the point where I have to set aside my editing hat and put on the creating hat once again. The prospect is frightening... and while I don't want to get mired in short stories to shield myself from Finished Novel Land and the concerns of sharing and publishing that come with it, it could also be true that exercises here and there might bolster my creativity so I can finish it off.

And this sounds silly - or maybe not - but I think I need for these to be private. I might be going to put this novel out into the world for all to see, and perhaps one day, a book of short stories - Tales from Montmartre? - but these exercises, private, in a special private journal. Maybe shared on occasion, but written specifically for me. I always write for me, but often worry over how good this is or that, and who I can or should show it to.... these can be just for having.

Meanwhile I should be reading over the notes I took when I visited the Louvre last year, but I can't bring myself to do it. I feel a particular angst regarding them, for some reason. And, yes, as should be obvious my now, I am still writing this blog to avoid actually working. I mean, I've edited four or five pages today. I don't theoretically need to work any more today. But I want to (yet I procrastinate). I don't feel like I've accomplished anything today. I need that extra something, to help get the angst out.

I have written a Schedule.

The Schedule is to ensure that all the stuff I keep telling myself I'll do more of actually gets done. And the schedule says that from 12 to 12.30 I am allowed a break, and I am having a break to write this. Even though I am 45 minutes behind schedule, cough cough.

The Schedule is as follows!

10a.m.: Get up. Coffee, clothes, ready-to-face-dayness. Checking of twitter, etc.
11a.m.: Writing work. Novel editing or assorted other work such as poetry practice, short stories, etc.
12p.m.: (That's now.) Break. Meant to be going outside, stretching etc. but instead I am writing this post. Surprised? Me neither.
12.30p.m.: More writing.
1.30p.m.: Reading. (Something I do far less often than I feel I want to. Now I have a special time to do it in.)
3.30p.m.: Language work. I keep wanting to re-learn French and Latin, so I do that here.
5p.m.: Pagan reading. Personal note-taking or book-club reading.
6p.m.-whenever: Relaxing, eating, TV, internet. Also incorporates any further reading, writing etc I feel moved to do, including journal-writing and so on.
Midnight: Last opportunity for writing spurt. Wind-down. Prayer, possibly meditation (also an option during the 12p.m. break that I am currently pissing away on teh internets).
2a.m.: sleeps.

Went to bed just after 2 last night. Could not sleep for three and a half hours. Drifted off sometime before 6. Seriously?

I'm going to try this "sleep at 2" for a couple of weeks and see if I can get it to work. If I'm still struggling, and surviving on four hours of sleep (which I suck at) after a couple of weeks I'll re-write the schedule so that I can sleep enough to feel alive. Right now I am mentally exhausted and I can't believe I used to live like this constantly when I was working full time. Sure I get up late in the day, but I'm not lazy. I have a fucked up sleep phase or something.

And now I have procrastinated enough. I have.... seven minutes before I am meant to start writing again. I feel like falling asleep.